The Baby Blue Martini

By: Marjie Martini

As always, insight comes to me in the latest hour of the evening.On this particular evening the martini was not all about fun and love, it was about something much more serious. Somehow it always ends up having something to do with sex. Thank god there is the consistency in life of a good martini and good sex. What would we do without either of these? It would be a mighty boring time on this planet. This was a night where some consoling of a dear friend was in order. It was not the fluffy consoling about some date not working out or the on-going relationship issues, it was about a major life decision. The one that can change life as we know it forever. NO! It is not marriage! It is babies! Yes! The big "B" word.

The issue I was talking to my dearest girlfriend about was not the decision to have babies; her and her husband has already made that decision. The issue was that after a year of trying she was not yet pregnant. The issue was should she keep trying?
Some women's biggest fear is not being able to conceive a baby.

When I arrived at our regular martini bar, after the desperate " I need a martini!" phone call, the cocktails where on the bar and my girlfriend was already one in!
Whew! She was upset because she usually only ever drinks one!

I saw the pain in her eyes as I sat down and just leaned over and gave her a huge hug. The tears started to spill out of her eyes so I just kept hugging and wiping away her tears. What is wrong? I asked. I got my period this afternoon, she answered. Oh shit!" I thought as I took a long sip of my martini, this was not going to be good! She laughed as she told me that she had ordered us the Baby Blue martini, she thought it was quite fitting. Well at least it tastes good and eases the pain, I stated. This was a fact: this martini was delicious - A blend of vodka and blue curacao which gives a nice orange flavor and the addition of sour-mix to balance it all out, plus one of my favorite garnishes, a cherry, which makes it look so pretty.

After a few sips, the disappointment came pouring out. She was so upset because she had been 4 days late and had started to think that she might actually be pregnant!
She was so tired of feeling like a failure by not being able to conceive. She was frustrated by the constant thoughts of what day it was, what her temperature was, how far away her husband was in case they needed to have sex in the next few hours.

She was frustrated by all the tests, shots and hormones. She was a wreck and she knew it, but the desire to conceive a child was consuming her, it was all she thought about: her life with a baby. It was like she could not enjoy her life now because she was so obsessed by trying to get pregnant. And, if one more person told her to relax and let it go, she was going to let them have it!
To add salt to the wound, our other friend was dealing with the issue of having an abortion. "Why is it so unfair, I want a baby and can’t have one and she doesn’t want one and gets one!" she cried. I felt her pain and frustration as I held her hand and waved at the bartender for another round of Baby Blue martinis.

“What is it that makes a woman decide that her life is not complete without having a baby?”

Is it hormones? What about the phrase: "the clock is ticking"? Do woman actually have a time in their lives when the "baby hormone" kicks in?

Or is it that life-long expectation that this is what we should do because we can reproduce?
The question is how far do we go to conceive a baby?

I had watched my strong, fun-loving girlfriend loose her self-esteem and become an emotional wreck over the past year, not to mention the life- savings her and her husband had spent to try and have a baby.

My girlfriend was a beautiful, amazing woman with so much love to give any child and here she was in front of me in tears because she felt like she had no purpose in life because she could not be a mother. The other factor that was causing her so much stress was about her husband: He was completely supportive of anything she wanted to do regarding the baby thing, but had mentioned that he was reconsidering them having a baby because of how unhappy it was making her. Plus, their sex life was horrible for the first time ever! It had become very calculated; it was all about timing and position. The sex had lost all its intimacy and had become about making a baby, not making love.

I was shocked by this comment and said that we had to fix this situation because we could not have her sex life in the toilet. She was one of the women I knew had managed to keep her great sex life, even after marriage!

"Who cares about kids, Sweetie, if you are not getting any good sex!" This statement at least made her start to laugh!

I am sure the Baby Blue Martinis were beginning to have an effect, because all-of-a-sudden, we started giggling at all the things we had just been discussing. The giggles made her realize that she was upset over something that she had absolutely no control over.
There was nothing she could do. If she was meant to get pregnant she would. I told her that some women are natural reproducers and others are not, but that does not mean that she could not be an amazing mother.

Maybe she was meant to be a mother to a child that did not have one or maybe she was meant to take all her love for children and spread it to many children that do not have people that love them. She suddenly realized that she was beating herself up for being a failure because she could not conceive, but she might only fail if she did not find a child to love.

Conclusion:

The Baby Blue martini is a drink that eases the pain of life. The combination of vodka and blue curacao give this martini a strong impact, the addition of sour-mix gives it a nice balance between sweet and sour. The cherry garnish makes this blue martini very pretty.

Sometimes life’s disappointments can make us very blue and cause us to think that we have failed. But just because we can not achieve something does not mean failure, it simply means acceptance. We just need to accept that there are something’s in life we can not control. The Baby Blue martini as a perfect balance between sweet and sour, it is like the disappointments in life they can seem really sour but when you accept them all of a sudden something changes and life becomes really really sweet and beautiful.

Intuitive Thoughts By Marjie Martini

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