The CC Cosmopolitan Martini

By: Marjie Martini

What is it about commitment that freaks people out? Now guys don’t stop reading because this is not a column where I am bashing commitment phobia men. This is not a speech about men who can not commit; it is about women who can not commit. Did you know that women can be just as afraid of taking the relationship plunge as men are? This issue and the CC Cosmopolitan martini are both quite ironic, because the thing about both of them is once you commit it can be deeply liberating. This martini is about driving in and not being so hesitant to try yet another Cosmopolitan. The difference is that once you start drinking this one, it is very hard to stop. With each sip the CC Cosmo only continues to get better and better. So those people with commitment phobia better watch out because this martini can convert the biggest confirmed bachelor/bachelorette.

The CC Cosmopolitan is a blend of citrus vodka, triple sec with a splash of lime and cranberry juice. This is personally one of my favorite cosmopolitan recipes: mainly because the citrus and orange mix together perfectly. The addition of just the splash of lime and cranberry juice make this Cosmo almost 100% alcohol vs. most recipes that are over 50% juice. The fresh lime gives this martini a zing unlike other recipes that are made with lime cordial which can make the recipe to sweet.. It is hard to break away from your favorite cosmopolitan recipe just like how it is hard to get over commitment phobia. In both cases it can seem much easier and safer to just stay with what you know, the question is "What fun is that?"

A little while ago over the CC Cosmopolitan martini I was called on my commitment crap but my two best guy friends! The question that they posed to me was "What is it that women really want?" the boys stated that most women, including myself have told them that we generally want to be in a relationship, so why is it that when a woman gets what she had been wishing for and meets that man of her dreams she panics? I was completely offended by this comment. I do not panic! I can commit to a relationship! Whatever, my buddy stated, you are the one who finally ended up with the man, you had loved for years, and after a few months you freaked out about nothing and ran away.

“Suck it up buttercup you are busted! “

This is when I waved at the bartender and ordered another CC Cosmo. Oh my god! It was true! I was a complete commitment phobia freak! Ick! My only comfort in this was that I was not the only woman who was like this. As we sipped our martinis we named several women that we all knew who where like this, we always blamed men for being scared of commitment but somehow over the past 10 years we had become the same if not worse. Had the modern independent woman reached a point where she was to scared, to commit to a man? It was interesting that we could easily commit our bodies to a man but when it came to committing time or money it became a harder issue.

A lot of us where scared of being taken advantage of, we were sick of footing the bill for boyfriends that we where in love with. Serious role reversal on that one, ya think? We could easily say that we loved a man and wanted to be with them for ever, but when circumstances changed and we where faced with possibility of adjusting our lifestyle, moving or changing careers, we all of a sudden hesitated and the reality of love became extremely overwhelming.

It was true, my ego had taken over. My fear and ego had created the internal critic that opened up all the questions of doubt. The thoughts of: Why am I sacrificing my lifestyle and friends to be with this man? Why am I adjusting my life and career to follow him? Why am I buying the house and paying for more then he is? Then there are the doubt questions of: What if it does not work out? What will I lose? Do I need a prenup? Is it worth the risk? Can I believe that he is going to take care of me? These were the critic questions that I and many other women had faced. When the ego kicks in it is amazing how you begin to think as an "I" instead of a "We". It is always easier to be single; you can be selfish with your time, energy and money. You do not have someone pushing your boundaries and challenging you to be a better person. The internal critic is constantly making the comment of what you are giving up but what we forget is what we are gaining: Love! People always say that when you meet the "one" your desire to be with this person over takes your fear of commitment. I do not believe that to be true. As we get older it is so much easier to walk away, because we have done it before and even though we know that ending a relationship is not the funniest thing in the world to do, we know we will survive. It is always easier to run away then to see it through. However, there is always that nagging doubt that the love, passion and energy that you share with this person you may never find again. Desire does not get a woman over her commitment phobia; it is a conscious decision, one that only occurs after you have been busted.

Conclusion:

The CC Cosmopolitan martini is a refreshing blend of citrus and commitment. When you break out of your old habitual Cosmo recipe and try this one, you will be delighted at the new taste sensations, it is very liberating. With only a splash of fresh lime and cranberry juice this smooth and strong martini will give you the push you need to free yourself from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear and ego that likes to dress its self up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit to this martini or anything else in your life, is to remove your head as the barrier to your life and start living it instead of being afraid of what you might lose. When you fear losing something you will always end up losing more than you ever imagined.

Intuitive Thoughts By Marjie Martini

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