The D.B. Ball Martini

By: Marjie Martini

Do you ever find yourself doing something that you swore you would never do? Well this seems to be happening to me a lot lately. There must be a sign on top of my head that states “Never say never”. Yet again, I awoke late in the morning, only to remember the night before and say “Oh god, I didn’t!” As I crawled downstairs to the coffee pot and aspirin, the memories of the previous evening started to rush back. I could not help but giggle. Aagh! What a night and what a martini.

The funniest circumstances happen when you least expect it. On the previous evening I attended a casual dinner party. When I arrived at my friend’s lovely mountain home I was introduced to a group of incredibly handsome and charismatic Scottish men. It was at this moment that I knew it was going to be an interesting evening. For most women there is something attractive about a tall, dark and handsome man. Add a Scottish accent to that combination and you have a license for panty removal. After introductions, I was instantly disappointed because these men where drinking beer not martinis. When I asked them if I could make them a martini they stated “they do not drink martinis because they love beer, Could I make them a beer martini?” This is how the D.B Ball martini was created. Plus, me doing something I swore I would never do!

I am not a beer drinker, haven’t been in years. However, once in awhile when I am on a beach I will have a cold Corona. Beer drinking is a guy thing. Men love it, they have to drink it and they can consume it all day and not get full or go pee. Boys and beer is something women will never understand. I once swore that I would never make a martini with beer, however at this dinner surrounded by hot Scottish men I found myself thinking of how I could create the perfect beer martini.

“After some serious thought I came up with a martini that “Blows a man’s mind!”

The D.B Ball martini is a killer combination of Drambuie, Beer and Guinness Ale. It has a beer flavor with an oaky scotch kick. What I love about this martini is the layers that are created when it is poured and the luxurious Guinness foam. This martini will convert the most serious beer drinker into a stylish and sexy martini man!

After I poured a few D.B Ball martinis, I found myself involved in a conversation I still can’t believe I had with several men. It always amazes me the topics people discuss after several martinis. On this night the hot subject was “Boys and their Balls!” Yup! There I was discussing why men are so attached to their balls. It was something I never thought I would do but I can testify that it was totally hilarious and insightful. Boys have an intense connection to their balls and there are many phrases to represent this. Balls are fondly referred to as: the boys, the brain or the crown jewels. Men do agree that they have two brains, the one on top of their head and the one in their pants. They sometimes agree that the brain in their pants is smarter. There is also constant word association to the balls, statements like: “the one ball wonder” which is a guy that can do the impossible, “dogs bollocks” (balls) which is used when something is really good, “pocket pool” which is when guys put their hands in pant pockets to do some adjustments and the dreaded “blue balls” which is when men are aroused and are unable to finish the task, this tends to make them slightly agitated. Balls are represented in every area of a man’s life. Men are constantly surrounded by sports that require them to chase balls: football, soccer, basketball and baseball. Plus, there is the fear of being hit in the balls, every man sympathizes when this occurs, especially when the victim pukes and passes out.

I was also informed that balls have different modes. Who knew? Sport Mode: when the balls retreat up and in during exercise. Rock Mode: occurs between 4-9am this is when the balls are hard and horny. Cool Mode: this is commonly referred to as shrinkage. We also discussed the great grooming debate. All I can recommend in regards to grooming is Please, Please, I beg of the male population SHAVE! Besides, it makes them look larger and women love big balls!

As the night worn on and the D.B Ball martinis continued to be consumed, because boys can drink a lot of beer! I still did not understand the connection between boys and their balls. The Scottish men did provide the explanation that balls represent a man’s sexuality. They are a constant reminder of manhood and the ability to reproduce. When men refer to their balls it is their ego and testosterone talking. As I caught a cab home I was perplexed that women do not have such a deep association with our breasts or vagina. We like those areas and they remind us of our femininity but they are not as entrenched in our lives as are the balls. I resided myself to the fact that this will be another thing about men that women will just never understand. However, the one woman who might is the queen because she always has a ball in her hand.

Conclusion:

The D.B. Ball martini will convert the dedicated beer drinking boy into a stylish and sexy martini man. A stunning blend of Drambuie, Beer and Guinness Ale makes this martini sexy to look at and gives the beer flavor an oaky edge. There are certain things about men that women will never understand. Boys will always love their beer and they will always have a deep connection to their balls. However, women may be able to esthetically alter a man and his martini but remember you can never change them.

Intuitive Thoughts By Marjie Martini

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