The Envy Martini

By: Marjie Martini

Why is it that we are reluctant to try anything that is green? We grow up trying to avoid green vegetables. Many of us dislike wearing the color green because it is not good on our skin tone. How often do you drink something that is green that does not make you want to throw up? The Envy martini will make you green with envy if you are the one not drinking it. Sharing is martini is not recommended because it is the one time that you are going to love drinking something green.

My gal pals and I had spontaneously arranged a late afternoon martini and chin wag. We had gathered at our favorite martini/patio bar. This was a great place to people watch, get the gossip and have a killer martini. Our adorable bartender was excited; he loved it when the girls gathered because he always got to try a new martini. Plus, he always gained some great new sex tip or piece of gossip. We usually like to share and sample a few martinis but on this day, he insisted that we all have our own Envy martini. This martini is a mixture of Vodka, Midori, Frangelico and Peach Schnapps. Add some lime juice and garnish this one with fresh blueberries and you have a martini that invokes pure emotion.

The phrase “green with envy” actual came from the Greeks, they believed that jealousy was accompanied by an overproduction of bile, lending a pallid green cast to the victim. Later, great writers like Shakespeare followed suit, freely using 'green' to denote jealousy or envy. Perhaps the most famous such reference is Iago's speech in Act 3 of Othello (here everyone thought I just knew about martinis and sex.). I brought up this interesting bit of trivia while we where sampling our tasty martinis. This of course opened up the flood gates to all the things that caused us to be envious. Women are very interesting, (men would refer to us as complicated or crazy) we always seem to want what we don’t have. Women with naturally curly hair would die for straight hair, women with naturally volupsious breasts want a reduction and women that are petite want to be tall. This theme seemed to apply to our sex lives as well. It turned out that through the course of this conversation, two of my girlfriends where both envious of each others relationships. Wow! This was a huge! This type of confession can starts cat fights but with these girls it was all in good humor, besides everything was sacred over the martini glass.

The envy was caused over

“P.D.A’s (public displays of affection) and P.S.S’s (public sex sites).”

We all had to qualify what was an actual P.D.A and P.S.S. There are three types of P.D.A’s, 1. The obvious: hand holding, kissing and arm around the shoulder. 2. The subtle: arm caresses, leg rubs and back strokes.3. The over the top: tongue kissing, swapping of saliva and groping of each other that causes the comment “get a room”. The definition of P.S.S’s: acts of a sexual nature performed in a public arena, where the thrill of getting caught enhances the intensity of the sexual experience.

In our case the issue was, one woman had a partner that was great at P.D.A’s; he was always holding her hand or giving her a kiss. The other woman had a partner that was really into P.S.S’s; he loved to have sex in public areas. It turned out that they were both jealous of each other. The one woman wanted a partner that was more adventurous in the sexual arena. She loved that her partner was affectionate but he only wanted to have sex in the bedroom, she once tried to get him to have sex in the kitchen and he flipped out and said it was unsanitary. This man is just a bit anal about cleanliness. The other woman loved that her partner was spontaneous about where to have sex but he never expressed any affection except in private. She had encouraged him to hold her hand but he always said it was uncomfortable, and he hated it when she tried to kiss him in public. How weird was it? This guy could shag in a restaurant bathroom but not kiss his girlfriend at the dinner table? You can imagine the comments that came out after the girls divulged this information. The best comment was from our bartender “Tell these guys to get over it! Kissing in public and sex in the kitchen are normal!” The truth always seems to have more of an impact when it comes from a neutral source and particularly when it comes from a man.

Conclusion:

The Envy martini is a drink that causes your emotions to flare up. You will be jealous if you have to share this martini, the combination of flavors makes this martini so smooth that you will want it all to yourself. It is a constant challenge in life not to envious over what you do not have. This is where gratitude comes in, the more you are thankful for what you have the more you are happy and harmonious. Instead of being green with envy over what you do not have in your relationship, get off your ass and change it. You can either communicate lovingly to your partner what you want, or turn your focus to the great things that you get from your lover and be thankful for them. Envy and jealously don’t bring positive energy into our lives. It is like the Greeks said, “this color will only make you sick”. The only place envy belongs is over a good green martini.

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