The Grape Escape Martini

By: Marjie Martini

Well this one is kinda creepy. How can a martini be weird? Well when you taste this one you might figure it out. The Grape Escape is a total mix mash of taste sensations. It is all about personal preference, some like it sweet and other like more citrus so you will have to be the judge on this one. Either that or my taste buds took a hideous the night I tried this one out. Maybe we all should have hid out that night and it would have solved our problems entirely.

It was a night when we should have just given up and gone home early but being that we are all determined women that option never even occurred to us. It was a night where I was ready to go out and laugh myself silly with my best girlfriends. As I ran out the door in my new and very sassy shoes, I knew I looked hot and as I walked into the lounge to meet my gal pals I was not surprised to see them all looking hot as well. It was the makings for the perfect night, little did I know I should have just turned around and gone home.

As we settled in we all voted to try a different martini off the new list. This way we could all sample the new martinis! We are not stupid women! I decided to order the Grape Escape mainly because the description sounded interesting, a mixture of Vodka, Dubonnet Red and Mandarin liqueur with the addition of citrus and white cranberry juice. When it was presented I liked the look of this ruby colored martini with a spear of grapes, after my first few sips I could not decide whether or not I liked this taste combination. Initially it takes on the taste of a sweet purple grape but then the follow through is more on the citrus side which was not really grooving with me. As we did the martini sampling everyone else thought this one was a good score, so I just racked it up to the fact that my tasters where not working. It was at this point that the night started to take a dive because one of my girlfriends shrieked

"Oh shit, there he is again!” Who?
“The Stalker!” What?

All of sudden she started to panic and was insisting that we get the hell out of there. So we did and along our way to the next martini spot we got the scoop on how this guy had been asking her out for dinner, lunch, drinks and he was not getting the hint of "No." he was a really nice guy and they had talked a lot but she was just not interested in him as more than a casual friend. Then she started to notice that he was showing up everywhere she went. The coffee shop, grocery store, gym and now the martini bar. This was getting out of control. At first she thought that it was coincidence and then she realized that it was a little to frequent. We all thought she was over exaggerating until we had ordered our next round of drinks and were just settling in again and there he was again. Ok, so now this was getting weird. Of course she wanted to vacate immediately and wanted everyone to go with her. This was ridiculous I had not even had an entire martini yet!

This is when she told us that last week he had followed her home and started knocking on her door at midnight and she was scared to open the door, so he just kept knocking and calling her name for 30 minutes. Maybe she was not over reacting. What was up with this guy? Was he obsessed? Was he not a balanced person? How does a women deal with this situation?

What the real problem was that she could not tell him to get lost! He was a really nice guy and she did not want to offend him. She had told him she was not interested but he just kept insisting that he could change her mind and that he was going to keep subtlety pursing her. However, it was getting ridiculous and she did know that he was not balanced. He had admitted to her that he was on several different medications for depression as well as being bipolar. Terrific! We all just rolled our eyes! How did she get herself into this situation? Why have you just not told him to F*&# off my girlfriend said. Why do you continue to talk to him? You are just encouraging the situation. She denied that she was encouraging him but went on to tell us about the endless compliments that he gives her and how it was over the top. I just looked at her and said, "You are enjoying this aren’t you?" "You love all this attention!" but she just flatly denied it. But deep inside we all knew that she was enjoying this attention. My other girlfriend added to the conversation by stating that if she really wanted to get rid of this guy all she had to do was call the police or borrow a friend’s big dog for a few weeks and that would solve the problem. But what ever she did to get rid of him she better do it pronto because the situation was only going to get worse not better. Then she proceeded to get up and walk over to the stalker, she leaned over and spoke to him and then he instantly got up and left. When she came back we all wanted to know what she said to him. I just told him that I had a big black gay friend of mine arriving shortly and that I thought he might be interested in him, she stated. Well that was enough to put us all into a fit of hysterical laughter! However it solved the problem for the evening but the situation remained that my girlfriend needed to cut the cord with her stalker and quick.

Conclusion:

You never know when something weird is going to happen. The Grape Escape martini is that something weird, it starts off all sweet like a luscious grape and then it has a tarty citrus finish. It is like when you meet a guy who seems all normal and nice in the beginning and then they start to follow you and become obsessed. That is when you know it has gotten weird. There are only two things to do when a guy gets weird, stop being nice and call the police. There are only two things to do when a martini is weird, pass it on and order another one because you never want to waste your time or energy on an undesirable man or an undesirable martini.

Intuitive Thoughts By Marjie Martini

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