The JJ Jimmy Martini

By: Marjie Martini

As always insight comes to me in the latest hour of the evening. On this evening I wondered if I was actually enlightened or if I was crazy. One thing for sure I was definitely confused! As most of you have already figured out, I love men! You will very rarely hear me trash men or be a bitter woman, the reason for this is because I am blessed with so many great guy friends. One of my greatest pleasures in life is to go hang out with the guys. Hanging with the guys is usually very entertaining. On this particular evening I would say is was incredibly perplexing as well.

Now when you hang out with the guys you end up doing guy things; like fixing cars, boats, trucks, snowmobiles or anything with a motor. Or you do sports; you golf, ski, or surf. On special evenings you do something even more fun, you play poker! Guy time is very different than chick time. Chicks get together and discuss everything, the over analyzing of life, guys they just get together and talk about shit. But both sexes have one thing in common when they get together they both usually have a cocktail, woman will drink wine or a fruity martini, men well they just drink and drink a lot!

Poker night is taken very seriously it is all about the cards and the drinking, on this poker night the "Reverend" introduced us to the J.J. Jimmy martini. This martini is just as crazy as he is. A blend of Jack Daniels, Johnnie Walker Black Label scotch and Jim Beam whiskey. When I saw him pull out the bottles I crossed myself and prayed "God help me in the morning!" The Reverend is one of the funniest men I know and he definitely knows how to make a great martini. The key to this martini is in the mixing he explained to me as I raised my eyebrow in doubt. You have to mix the ingredients in a chilled glass pitcher with lots and lots of ice and then beat the ice until it screams. Believe me when I say that you can hear some screaming going on! When he handed me my martini I was actually impressed it was served with a layer of ice on the top, as I cautiously took my first sip I was surprised that this mixture did not taste like moonshine but more like a good strong ice cold scotch. I was in!

“As the poker evening progressed the martinis went down and the stakes went up”

The Reverend was on a roll and was cleaning us out. As my buddy folded for the tenth time, he made the comment that his cards were like his sex life they were both "the craps." We all laughed because we knew that he was having a very long dry spell and could not get laid to save his life. I opened the can of worms when I commented that if he had not been such a chicken, by dumping his old girlfriend, he would still be getting the best sex of his life.

The Reverend piped up and asked the question "why is it that when a man hits 30 he thinks that every good woman is taken and all the other ones want to get married and have babies?" I choked on my martini and sat back in awe as I listened to the boys debated why men are chickens in their early 30’s.

The debate was very interesting and heated but a theory was confirmed. I will call it the "male mid 30’s chicken theory." According to the poker boys the theory is such: that if a man hits 30 and he feels that he is where he should be in life i.e.: career, relationship, material possessions, he cruises through and usually ends up getting married to his girlfriend about 33, and all is good. But if a man hits 30 and feels that he is not where he should be in his life then he freaks out and it becomes all about the toys i.e.: cars, snowmobiles, dirt bikes, boats etc. they also adapt this belief that all the good woman are taken and all the single ones want to get married and have kids. So they usually dump the great girlfriend that they have and continue to play until they get to about 35yrs old. Then they decide that they better find a good woman or they will be single at 40 and that scares the crap out of them. However they can not meet a good woman and they end up in the never ending dry spell and this is because by now all the good women are really taken.

Shocking as it is to believe I never made a comment while the debate was going on, mainly because I was in disbelief that the poker boys were actually discussing a life theory. Who knew that men actually thought about stuff like this, I decided it was because we had lost all our money and the Reverend had made us these crazy J.J Jimmy martinis.

Conclusion:

As I dragged my ass home in the early hours of the morning my eyes were blurry but my mind had a moment of clarity. If my buddy had not been such a chicken and stepped up to the plate when he was 32, by marrying his amazing girlfriend, then he would not be lonely and desperate at 36 wishing for all the things he could have had. A wife, great sex and all the possessions. We can all thank the Reverend for a crazy martini that makes us forget our great regrets in life. But I do believe there are no regrets only lessons, so all I can say is that when a man has someone great, remember that the grass is not always greener. That when you have a good woman you will want to pray that you can keep her because like the J.J. Jimmy martini if you don't pray it is always going to hurt in the morning.

Intuitive Thoughts By Marjie Martini

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