The Manhattan Martini

By: Marjie Martini

As always insight comes to me in the latest hour of the evening. On this evening I came to the conclusion that men will always cheat. Now I realize that this is a pretty bold statement but under the circumstances and the cocktail, it was the reality that I had avoided up to this point in my life but had to accept. I think the acceptance of this fact was do to the different recipe for the tried and true Manhattan.

The Manhattan has been a martini that has been around for ever. It is one of the great classics. It is a martini that you drink and feel that you should be sitting with the rat pack and discussing how a martini is pure magic, it may not make your problems disappear but it will certainly reduce there size. The Manhattan will definably reduce the pain a woman feels when she realizes that her man is a cheater. A combination of Canadian Club rye, sweet vermouth with a dash of bitters and a splash of Jim Beam, makes this a martini that is hard core and just a bit bitter.

I think it was the slight bitterness of this martini that made the realization that men will always cheat hit home. This cheating issue came about by my very good male friend. Our social circle had erupted over the past few days because one of our solid couples had split. The wife had received a phone call from another woman who told her that she was having an affair with her husband. The hurt and betrayal that followed was devastating. My buddy and I were sipping our Manhattans and discussing the issue when he made the comment that it really wasn’t that big of a deal, they just needed to get over it because everyone cheats! I was speechless, as shocking as it is to believe! I had no retort to that statement. I could not believe it, according to him everyone cheats. Was I the only one who had never cheated? He was shocked to discover that even I had morals.

The only positive thing about this conversation was The Manhattan it was so good we had to order another. We discussed all the people we knew that had cheated; as we went through all our friends I realized that he was right,

“Almost everyone we knew had cheated at some point.”

The scenarios were different: like the men who had an affair with his wife’s friend, or the man who swore he had met his new love but he was sleeping with multiple woman for the first 6 weeks of meeting his new love, or the wife who found about her husbands not girlfriend but boyfriend. Even though the scenarios were different the end result was the same, was anyone faithful any more?

Just recently I had met a very nice married man who flirted shamelessly with me, he even made the comment that "he was a happily married man but would I like to get together for a drink?" Is that not a complete contradiction? As I went through all my past relationships I could only come up with one, that I was pretty sure had never cheated. I was shocked, had I been in denial of this my whole life?

Or was I the eternal romantic that just assumed everyone was blissful and faithful. As this realization sunk in, I started to think that maybe we are not meant to be faithful and just have one partner. What if we could have as many partners as we wanted and no one got hurt or upset? After all we are animals, are we truly meant to be magnanimous?

There is a point when you are in the infatuation stage of a relationship when you are not interested in other people; all you see is the person that you are in love with. As the relationship progresses those rose colored glasses slowly get fogged up and you have to take them off and that is when you start being attached to other people. I have always said that even though you are in a relationship you are not dead and can find other people attractive, but what is it that takes the attraction to the next level of cheating? According to my buddy, anyone will cheat if they think they are not going to get caught. Is cheating only cheating if you get caught?

Was it true that 85% of all relationships cheat? Or was it that 85% of all relationships should not be together? Was it that it was easier to cheat and risk getting caught then to deal with the fact that you should not really be in this relationship and end it and move on? What about all the people that cheat hoping that they will get caught because that will get them out of the unwanted relationship?

As I headed for home I realized that I was thoroughly depressed. Was it the Manhattan martini that had caused the sadness or the conversation about cheating? I liked living in the world believing that relationships could be faithful and the romantic in me wanted the rose colored glasses to stay on. I was disappointed in myself for not seeing the reality of life but was this reality turning me into a negative relationship person? Was I becoming a bitter babe? Would I ever believe in a faithful relationship again? As I swallowed a couple Advil and slipped into bed, I realized that we are what we attract. If I am a bitter relationship person, that is what I will attract into my life. If I am an optimistic and hopefully romantic then I will attract the positive relationships into my life and hopefully the faithful ones as well.

Conclusion:

There are times in your life when reality hits home hard. These are the times to reach for the Manhattan martini. This martini is strong and has a certain amount of bitterness. But sometimes that is just want you need. It is okay to be disappointed in life and feel a bit of bitterness as long as you do not let that negativity possess you permanently. The Manhattan martini starts off with some bitterness but after you have had a few that mellow soft glow takes over and the rose colored glasses go back on. Life can suck at times but you have to remain optimistic because if you don’t you will only attract the cheaters in life. Besides a nice Manhattan glow and some great rose sunglasses make life a hell of a lot more entertaining. Remember a Manhattan is like magic it may not make your problems disappear but can certainly reduce there size.

Intuitive Thoughts By Marjie Martini

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