The Monkey Business Martini

By: Marjie Martini

So the question is "To have great sex do you actually have to be in the same room with the person?" If you can have an orgasm via the phone or the web is it actually sex or is it something else like just monkey business? This is how I ended up at my favorite martini bar waiting for my girlfriend to get there and talk me down. Some how I had ended up having lots of fabulous orgasms but not actually having sex. This situation called for a seriously good martini to take the edge off what I was doing. And this was a martini that could do just that

Lucky my girlfriend arrived as our Monkey Business martinis where getting placed on the bar. "MMMMM". This looks good! What is the concoction this evening?"She asked. "Well I needed something with a good kick, and I think this is it!" I stated. The Monkey Business martini is cranberry Vodka and Havana Club Rum with some pineapple juice and coconut to add some sweetness. When I took my first sip, I got that shiver that goes down my spine. It is the shiver I get when I know a martini has a serious edge. It is also the shiver you get after a really great orgasm. After the first taste I was not to sure about this mixture, but the second sip was better. The coconut had added just enough sweetness to take the edge off the cranberry. It was either that or the fact that I just really needed a strong drink to make me feel better about the crazy situation I had gotten myself into.

My girlfriend looked at me and said "Well I can tell you are definably getting it, so give!"I just hung my head in shame; the real question I posed to her was "How horny does a woman have to be to have phone sex? Is it actually sex or just desperation? My girlfriend just started laughing hysterically! "What have you gotten yourself into?" she asked. I proceeded to explain to her that I had defiantly been getting some serious sex, over the past few weeks. Actually the orgasms where amazing, but I had not actually touched any man. How weird is that!

“Can phone sex be classified as sex or is it just something else completely?”

Now everyone has phone sex at some time in there life. It is usually when there is a long distance between two people or it is when you are just too tired to get up and drive across town. It has it points in almost every relationship, but what happens when you are having phone sex without the relationship?

My girlfriend just looked at me, drained her martini and quickly ordered two more, she new that this was going to be a good story because I could not even speak to get it out with out the help of another martini. The rum from the Monkey Business martini was starting to kick in and I could finally confess what I was doing. I had somehow ended up having phone and web sex with this guy who I had fooled around with on holidays. He lived far away and we had started talking to each other over the computer.

One thing led to another and somehow we had progressed from the phone to the webcam. "Wow, that is really cool!" my girlfriend exclaimed. But it was a very weird thing to have sex with someone when you can see them, hear them but you can not touch them. So really it isn’t it just masturbation, not sex. But mutual masturbation is way better than being on your own. So what is the problem? Here I was having some great orgasms without the hassle of dealing with a relationship. But was it enough?

I was starting to think that this was not a healthy situation. What had started out innocently enough was now starting to consume my day to day life. I was rearranging my schedule so that I could meet him online; I was looking forward to having some personal sex time with my webcam and him. The web sex was becoming really exciting, the conversations were more and more explicit and there was a certain excitement about trying different things and just having someone watch you do it. I needed to be talked off the edge by my girlfriend because I was starting to think that I was becoming obsessed with this weird sexual thing. I was worried that I would end up being one of those people that call into the 1 800 sex lines or that end up whacking off to different porn sights, is that where I was heading? My girlfriend just kept laughing and drinking her martini while see listened to me purge my latest situation. When I was done she just simply sat back and said "Well I pronounce you a sexually sane woman!" she proceeded to tell me that there is nothing wrong with healthy masturbation, even if it is mutual masturbation. That if I was enjoying the web sex then great, of course I was going to make time in my schedule for something that I enjoying, and as long as the rest of my life was not being compromised then what was the problem? She was concerned that I might get attached to this guy and want to have a relationship but I assured her that would never happen. If I could not get attached then I should just enjoy it for what it is. Healthy masturbation with the bonus of no attachments. Hell, according to her that was a dream come true! She did not seem worried that I was going to end addicted to sex sites or porn. If it comes to that she said then we will have an intervention. Some how I knew that would not happen. I suddenly felt a whole lot better was it the two Monkey Business martinis or the rational advice of a good girlfriend?

Conclusion:

The Monkey Business martini is a drink that you should consume when you are into something that can be considered at bit racy! The combination of coconut and cranberry with vodka and rum give this martini a taste that sends a shiver down your spine! It is the liquid courage you sometimes need to purge your deepest darkest secret. It is amazing how we get ourselves into things that we think are so racy and other people think that they are perfectly healthy and normal. This martini is one that will expand your comfort zone, sometimes it is good to feel a little nasty or racy and this martini has just enough of a kick to help remove your inhibitions. Anything that makes you feel good and does not become all consuming is perfectly healthy. And what works for some people may not work for others but who cares as long as it is working for you! And this is a martini that will encourage all the monkey business that you can handle.

Intuitive Thoughts By Marjie Martini

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