The Oxy Moron Martini

By: Marjie Martini

What is an Oxy Moron? Is it when you have an experience and think shouldn’t it have been the opposite? With the world on the never ending health kick, I find our society continuously trying the latest and greatest super foods/vitamins. Health practitioners are constantly telling us cut back on alcohol, red meat and fried foods. Why? Because our society is grossly overweight and experiencing high amounts of disease. However, does giving up alcohol ever really happen? Ah nope! Why? Because it is our socially accepted vice, we need our martinis! Life would be far too serious without them. Besides, what ever happened to moderation? Well, the meshing of martinis and health is how the Oxy Moron martini was created. Thank god it was because it saved my girlfriend from a very long dry year.

It all started on New Years Day, I was sipping my breakfast martini (Clamato and Vodka) taking the edge off the night before when my girlfriend arrived for brunch. When I offered her a martini, she declined and boldly announced that she was quitting everything bad for 12 months. No more alcohol, pot, or coffee. She wanted nothing to do with anything that was unhealthy or caused her to be unclear. “WHAT! Are you nuts, was my response. That is the most ludicrous idea I have ever heard!” it was not like she was unhealthy. We both took extremely good care of our bodies by eating organic food, practicing yoga, taking vitamin supplements and rarely over indulging. So why did she have to go on the wagon? She stated that she just wanted to cleanse all the crap out of her body.

I concluded that this was a serious situation! I understood her need to cleanse but there was no way I was going to let one of my favorite martini sipping girlfriends go martini less for a year. So we entered into a conversation about compromising on her cleansing. I suggested that the coffee, pot and wine she could do without but she might think about having a martini every once in awhile. What if the martini was healthy? I asked.

“A martini can not be healthy, it has booze in it, she stated.”

Sure it can! It is all about the other stuff. I replied. She agreed that if I came up with a healthy martini then she would consider consuming it in moderation over the next 12 months. My motivation behind the birth of the Oxy Moron was the realization that even with all the best intentions, odds were that there would be a point over the next year when my girlfriend was going to need a martini, if I could create her saving grace then so be it.

We decided this martini needed to be beneficial to our bodies to balance that the alcohol would tax our livers. We raided my fridge and pulled out everything that was healthy; (Now it may seem to some people that my fridge/freezer consists of booze, booze and more booze. I have been known to shake martinis as early as 10 in the morning. However, in reality my fridge is jammed with good stuff.) Ginger, cranberry juice, lime and my favorite vitamin supplement Frequensea. We had both been taking Frequensea for a few months and loved it. It is a whole food tonic that is a blend of juices which contain amino acids, omega 3 and 6, plus vitamins and minerals. Ginger was perfect because it aids the body in digestion and it is a natural anti-inflammatory plus it can be a sexual stimulant. This is always a bonus you can never have to many sexual stimulants. Cranberry aids in the cleansing of the liver and bladder. Plus, the lime helps purge the body of toxins. To this mixture I added some Lemon Vodka and Cointreau for a slightly sweet citrus/orange flavor. The resulting quote was “Wow, holy shit this is good!”

As all our friends starting arriving for brunch we sampled out the Oxy Moron martini, it was a hit! The guys liked it because it was not too sweet. Plus, it definitely made a few people feel better. As we sat down for brunch my buddy retold us his experience from the night before. He had spent New Years Eve pouring champagne at a gay wedding. He had been informed that the restaurant where he bartends was closed for a wedding but none of the staff had realized until the last moment that there were two brides, not one. He commented that it had been an amazing night! Both the brides where blonde, sexy and absolutely gorgeous. One bride was a senator and the other a police officer. They had come to Canada to get married because it was illegal back home in North Carolina. The guests had been fun and entertaining and they all adored these women and where in full support of their marriage. My other buddy asked him if they kissed. “of course they did, they kissed a lot!’ he replied. The guys thought it was hot! Why is it that when two gay men kiss, people find it offensive? But when two women kiss, it is a turn on? This comment started a debate for the rest of brunch and it led me to think about how a same sex marriage is also an oxy moron.

A gay marriage is the opposite of what you traditionally expect when you hear about a wedding. Our society is becoming more open minded about the gay lifestyle. Being gay is no longer taboo. In general it is not a big deal anymore. Society is realizing that it is not a lifestyle choice but a person is actually either born straight or gay. I wondered if it has always been this way. But due to the peer pressure of the past, so many people remained in the closet their whole lives. It amazed me that in only 20 years we have evolved as a society, I remembered the 80’s where being gay was unheard of and now in the 2000’s it is legal and socially acceptable to have a same sex marriage. It was about time, everyone has the right to be who they are and marry who ever they chose. I realized that the same sex marriage was not the oxy moron but it was our traditional way of thinking.

Conclusion:

The Oxy Moron martini is a cocktail that you may think is not good for you but in actuality it is healthy. This infusion of Lemon Vodka, Cointreau, and Frequensea with cranberry and ginger make for a martini that will raise your energy level and increase your circulation. It will also cleanse your body and heighten your mental clarity. Sometimes we expect that life should be a certain way and it ends up the opposite. When this occurs ask yourself if you are experiencing an oxy moron or could you open your mind a bit further? Whatever the case it is always good to try something different and expand your boundaries. The Oxy Moron is a martini that is the perfect balance between health and happiness and it will also give you an excuse to never be on the martini wagon.

Intuitive Thoughts By Marjie Martini

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