The Pipeline Martini

By: Marjie Martini

As always insight comes to me in the latest hour of the evening. On this evening our great night out was interrupted by the town’s biggest mouth. On this particular night I was out with a group of my favorite friends, we had decided to try the new tapas and martini bar. To get some new martini ideas. Well we got more than that. We all tried a different martini and got to sample everything sweet and sour but the one the really grooved with me was this very blue, slightly sweet but tart Pipeline martini.

When I saw the name of this martini I thought it was going to be something tropical but much to my surprise there was nothing to fruity about this drink. The Pipeline is a mixture of Gin, Blue Curacao and lemon juice. A seemingly simple combination but the result is something that has the strength of a good strong martini with the Blue Curacao giving it just the right amount of orange sweetness. But the lemon juice gives it a slightly tarty finish. I always love a little tartness every now and again. Sometimes the martinis that seem too simple are the ones that get you into the most trouble.

We were deep into the martinis when a friend of a friend strolled over and joined our very fun group; I had only met this woman once and remembered her as the woman who seemed to know everything about everyone. True to form this woman preceded to educate the entire table of all the in and outs of the towns relationships. She seemed to know all the marriages that were on the rocks, the men and women that were sleeping around, what teenage kids were having drug issues and what people were partying too much and too late. My girlfriend who was a hairstylist did not seem impressed by this woman’s ongoing roasting of people she did not really seem to know. My girlfriend was one of those people who was in the know about pretty much everything but never divulged anything, no matter how hard we tried. She had a strict policy of "what was said in the chair, stayed in the chair"a motto that she lived by.

As the martinis flowed the gossip lady continued to get louder and louder, the boys at the table seemed more interested in what she had to say than the woman did.

“The boys loved it, because we all know boys never gossip! Whatever!”

When woman discuss other people it is considered gossip, when men discuss other people it is the hard and fact truth. But why is it the details are never quite right? My girlfriend was getting more and more agitated by this gossip woman and I was sensing a confrontation. I sat back and watched the pot stir, enjoying my Pipeline martini immensely. As predicted another martini later, my girlfriend had enough. As the gossip woman was describing the story of a woman who was supposedly sleeping with multiple married men, my girlfriend very casually stated that she is full of shit! The gossip woman was caught off guard and did not how to respond.

My girlfriend very calmly proceeded to ask her how she knew all this. Was she in the room with all the men that this woman had slept with? Maybe she was the woman who had done the sleeping? Or was she the other woman of one of these men and was a little bitter? The woman was speechless! This was a first! At that my girlfriend stated that this gossip woman better get her facts straight because until then all she was doing was creating hurtful and malicious gossip. And since she did not have her facts straight she might as well leave because no one at the table was interested in any thing else she had to say. Ouch! With that comment I let out a low whistle and chuckled. One thing my girlfriend knew how to do was very politely roast people. After a long uncomfortable silence the gossip lady, made up some excuse and very quickly left the table. With that, one of the guys chuckled and said, why did you roast her, I was into that story. My girlfriend laughed and said it was all bullshit! But I will tell you the real story about the lady who just left. They were all ears. I winked at my girlfriend knowing full well that she was protecting someone she knew and had in fact taken all the gossip that had been previously spoken and turned it around on the town gossip herself. Got to love women, they certainly know how to get even!

As I headed home, I could not help but think about the town gossip lady. How empty did her life have to be, to be so consumed with everyone else’s problems. Was it that she did not know what else to talk to people about? What was it about our interest in the failure of other peoples lives. We all loved reading tabloids gossip about how the celebrities have broken up or gotten checked into rehab. We as a society loved the trashy magazines, was this a substitute for our local neighborhood gossip? Was this why TV. Shows like "Desperate Housewives" were rated number one. Are we a society addicted to gossip? Or do we just like hearing that other people’s lives are worse than our own? Is it that our lives are so brutal that we have to find satisfaction in knowing that other people who have more than us are in fact more messed up? Why is it so hard for us not to believe the worst about other people?

Conclusion:

The Pipeline martini is all about the fact that sometimes that simplest combination can get you into the most trouble. Do not be deceived by the pretty blueness of this martini because it is not all fruity. The orange sweetness of this martini does not last to long before the tangy taste of lemon kicks in. It is kind of like gossip in the beginning it is all sweet and innocent and just for fun but it does not take long for the tartness to kick in and the untruths to become hurtful. When you repeat even the simplest thing it can always get you into trouble, which is why it is just better to sit back and sip the Pipeline martini vs. being part of the gossip Pipeline. But it is guaranteed that both Pipelines will get you into serious trouble; however the martini pipeline will definably get you talked about the next day!

Intuitive Thoughts By Marjie Martini

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