The
After the Frost Martini
As
always insight comes to me in the latest hour of the evening.On
this evening I was discussing one of the weirdest things
that has ever happened to me. Now I have had a lot of
strange things happen to me in my lifetime. My girlfriends
have concluded that to walk a day or week in my shoes
requires great humor because I am constantly shaking my
head at the weird, crazy and unbelievable things that
happen to me or that I end up getting myself into. But
alas, life is never boring this way, that is for certain.
The thing that was so weird
was that I had entered a period of my life where I had
absolutely no sex drive! It was like my libido had gone
south for the winter. I finally broke down and confessed
this weirdness to my girlfriend, the fact that I had nothing
nada, no desire, no interest in sex what so ever and that
I had truly entered a state of the sexual freeze. My girlfriend
was completely speechless when I told her this; she thought
I was joking until I told her that I had not masturbated
for weeks. It was at that point when she starting waving
franticly at the bartender because holy crap did we need
a drink for this one.
When the martinis
arrived I was impressed, mainly because they were garnished
with a skewer of frozen grapes. The martini was sweet
but edgy and it had a very slight finish of apple. The
After the Frost martini is a combination of Gin, Ice wine
and Calvados (apple based liquor). This was a martini
that was cold and sweet, very similar to my frozen sex
drive. My girlfriend took several sips of her martini
and turned to me very seriously and said, "Ok tell
me what the hell is going on?" This was the only
girlfriend that I could confess my lack of sex drive too,
the reason being that she was the only one who understood
how serious an issue this was. Both of us shared the desire
for lots of orgasms, this is a rare quality in a female,
we often joked that we were men trapped in woman’s
bodies.
With a huge sip of
my martini I took a big breath and started to tell her
all about my sexual frost. The frost had started about
3 weeks ago for no apparent reason; all of a sudden I
had absolutely no desire to have an orgasm. Not by my
own hand or by any man’s. How could I go from having
daily or at least every other day orgasms to nothing?
I just had no interest? And the worst part was that my
favorite vibrator was partially broken, what was up with
that? It was like it was a sign that I was just not destined
to have any orgasms!
“It
is not like there is a vibrator repair man!”
I had been meaning
to go out and get a new one but just had not gotten around
to it, I had my back up vibrators but even trying the
good old reliable had not inspired me to wack off. My
girlfriend just kept sipping her martini and nodding,
she encouraged me to go on. I had gone to the doctor and
she concluded that I was going through a hormone change,
yaya whatever! I have had lots of hormone changes and
this had never happened. My shrink was perplexed, and
concluded that I must be repressing something sexual,
that was when I decided that I had paid her my last visit.
This made my girlfriend fly into fits of laughter because
it was completely ludicrous that I was repressing anything
sexual, finally a sane comment! Whew!
.
.
