Martinis at Midnight

The Eager Beaver Martini

The Eager Beaver Martini

What is truly funny? What makes you laugh until your stomach hurts? Well this is a martini that might just do that. I was out one evening that turned out to be exceptionally hilarious due to the fact that my girlfriend had attracted the Eager Beaver, in more ways than one. The Eager Beaver is a truly great martini that can give you all the liquid courage that you need to take on the world. It is also a martini that leads to having an incredibly funny evening.

The Eager Beaver martini is a killer combination of Vodka, Kahula and Triple Sec. Wow! Now if that does not get your taste buds going nothing is going to. Funny because this martini also gets your tongue going and this is where the hilariousness comes in. My girlfriend is a walking stand up comic and she did not need any help from the Eager Beaver martini but she starting drinking this martini anyway. Hence why my stomach muscles were sore the next day from laughing so hard. The evening’s fun started with this martini and the arrival of the Eager Beaver middle aged man.

An eager beaver is defined as a man in his mid 40’s, divorced and desperately seeking sex. My girlfriend has an ability to attach eager beavers on a regular basic. It is like they seek her out probably because she is so nice and very funny. These are the guys that are really great to talk to but you have absolutely no interest in them sexually. These are the guys that have been married for along time and now that they are single, they are dating virgins. These men are the ones that are desperately trying to figure out very quickly how to pick up women. They also tend to be a bit insecure so as they consume more martinis the courage increases. You never really know if you have an eager beaver until after they have had a few cocktails, this is how it happened on this particular night with my girlfriend.

We were having a great time out drinking martinis and hanging out with a few guys that we have known for years, we had been introduced to our buddy’s old school friend. He seemed really cool and very entertaining. It was after a few martinis that my girlfriend leaned over and whispered in my ear, I think I have an eager beaver coming on to me. "Watch and tell me if I am hallucinating" she said. As I observed for the next while I did notice the subtle bad pick up gestures. The casual "hand on the shoulder" or the "touch on the lower back/waist" that lasts a little too long plus there was the constant drink being supplied and the frequent over the top complements. It was like watching the guy who was a little insecure get bolder with each sip of his martini, the vodka was giving him courage and the kahula was making him think he was some bad ass dude! The triple sec must have given him the kick to make him think he was irresistible because he was oblivious to the fact that my girlfriend was just not into him! I whispered to my girlfriend

 

 

 

 

 

 

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“Ya, you got a live one! Shit! Not again, was her reply."

The problem with the eager beavers is that they are usually really great guys that you enjoy hanging out with but you have no interest in sexually. What happens is that they try to put on the moves and we as women do not want to offend them so we are left trying to figure out how to ditch these guys without hurting their feelings.. Not an easy feet! So we resort to the great excuses: 1. ah I kinda have a long distance boyfriend 2. It is not a good time of the month for me 3. I have a female infection (that one is embarrassing but works really well) 4. My girlfriend is really into you (this is the "pass the beaver" but can get you into serious shit with your girlfriends.) Of course there is the ultimate M.I.A., missing in action, which is when you bolt from the bathroom to the cab and blame it on the fact that you have had too much alcohol and just had to go home. This is my personal favorite but can be very dangerous because you can get caught on the way to the cab and then you are in the position of trying to get rid of the eager beaver when you are on your way home. Not a good situation to be in when you have had a few to many martinis. Because this can lead to him thinking that he is going to stay over and then that is the "Danger, Danger" zone because depending on the martini consumption you can end up giving in to pity sex. Pity sex is where you do not want to hurt the guy’s feelings because he is such a nice guy, so you end up giving the sex a try and it is ends up being brutal but you do not have the heart to tell him that. That is when you leave very quickly and never return the phone calls. It happens to every woman once and then we never want it to happen again. It is the curse of the Eager Beaver martini.

Conclusion:

This is a martini that gives men all the liquid courage they need to make the moves! The strength of the vodka mixed with the kahula gives this martini a strong coffee taste but when you add the triple sec the addition of the orange mellows out this martini and it becomes a taste bud extravaganza. This martini gives the slightly insecure man the liquid courage he needs to make him think that he is the new "Don Juan" but unfortunately he is just a guy trying to pick up the chicks like he did when he was an 18 year old geek! But now he is the geek trapped in a mid 40’s body! Woman should not drink this martini because it will only cause them to use the "help get me out of this excuses" and we all know that even when the martini tastes great our judgment can be slightly impaired! So keep the consumption of this martini to one maybe two and keep your self esteem because the alcohol induced "Don Juan" and "help get me out of this girl" is not a cool combination in the morning.

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Copyrights: 2005 by Marjory Cheales