The
Headache Martini
As
always insight comes to me in the latest hour of the evening.
On this particular evening the headache had already started
and I had not even gone to sleep yet. Usually the headaches
are reserved for the morning but in this case it started
early in the evening. The headache started when my gorgeous
girlfriend and I tempted fate and ordered The Headache
Martini, we wanted something strong and needed something
to kick us in the head because we were both at the end
of our ropes.
Well
this martini did just that. The Headache martini is a
blend of tequila and Triple Sec mixed with some peach
nectar and fresh lime juice. The finish to this martini
is great because it is topped with champagne. Now I always
believe that anything that includes champagne can never
be bad. This martini proved that theory, the combination
of the tequila and the champagne was divine. This was
a martini that was strong enough to take the edge off
after the first one but it was also smooth enough that
you wanted to order another. Which is exactly what we
did?
The reason my girlfriend and I were both at the end of
our ropes was because we had enough! How many times do
you need to be kicked in the head to realize that enough
is enough? We were both at the point in our lives where
we had given everything to our relationships, we were
exhausted. But somehow we just kept putting up with more
abuse. How do independent, strong women end up in abusive
relationships? I know it slowly happens over time. The
relationship never starts out abusive, the men are usually
great! These abusive men usually chase these women for
some time and are super attentive. These men are passionate
and usually fall totally in love with these strong women.
How does it go from that to abuse? Is it fear? Insecurity?
Or ego?
In
our case it was all of the above. The men in our lives
had become shadows of the men we had fallen in love with.
They were depressed, the emotional roller coaster of the
up and down. We were living in a world of constantly walking
on egg shells and never knowing what was going to set
them off. Would we get the nasty verbal abuse, with the
cutting put downs or would we get the silent withdrawn
treatment. It seemed that they only gave in when they
saw us cry, was it then that they realized that they had
gone to far. These men were no longer our knights in shining
amour; they had become paranoid insecure men. Men, who
spied on us, checked our email/voicemail and constantly
accused us of being flirty and unfaithful. But it was
not us that had been unfaithful in the past, it was them.
“How
had we ended us forgiving men who had cheated on us?”
Did
we really love them that much or had they just beaten
us down so that we did not have the energy or self esteem
to walk away? Was the fear of being single or alone greater
than the fear of being in an abusive relationship?
